Attraction to my male bstfriend?

i find myself attractd to my mal bestfriend which im a guy to. i found him atractive and i loved hm alot... but at the sam time i liked a couple girls.. i told one of my friends and they totally unerstood me.. but i couldn accept it. i told him i likd a gy once named alec (to just see what he woul say) i never told him it was realy him. he accepted it. we arent friends anymore and he still knows th secret and im worried he'll tell.... but beyyond that.. am i gay? bi? what is this?